Summer is the season for swimsuits, SPF and self-acceptance

[6 min read]

In this article: 

• Summer's revealing clothing and time outdoors offer plenty of “compare and despair” moments that can dampen the season's joys. 
• Developing a healthier relationship with our bodies starts with noticing our thoughts, the ways we think and speak about our bodies and how we perceive others in relationship to our bodies.
• A Providence Swedish expert shares ideas for changing our thinking, the realities of thin privilege and how to treat yourself and others with more kindness around this sometimes-tender issue.  

For many of us, summer fun comes with a healthy serving of body anxiety. The season’s revealing clothing and time outdoors offer plenty of “compare and despair” moments that can dampen summer’s joys. Thoughts like "Everyone is judging how I look" can lead to avoiding certain clothes, checking your appearance repeatedly and turning down invitations. And social media’s emphasis on things like “looksmaxxing” certainly don’t help. 

With the prime of summer upon us, we spoke to Janarthan Sivaratnam, Ph.D., a psychologist with Providence Swedish South Lake Union Primary Care, about strategies to help us let go of judgement and feel more confident in our bodies during the summer and all year long. 

Change our thinking, not our body

An important step in developing a healthier relationship with our bodies is to notice our thoughts and the ways we think and speak about our bodies and how we perceive others in relationship to our bodies. 

“Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) suggests challenging these automatic thoughts by asking whether they are based on evidence or assumptions. Instead of accepting self-critical thoughts as facts, try replacing them with more balanced ones, such as, ‘Most people are focused on themselves, not on judging me,’ or ‘My appearance is only one part of who I am,’” says Dr. Sivaratnam.  “Another helpful approach comes from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), which encourages you to acknowledge negative thoughts without letting them control your behavior.”

Dr. Sivaratnam also suggests wearing certain clothes or participating in some summer activities even if those thoughts are still present. Research also shows that practicing self-compassion and appreciating what your body can do, rather than focusing only on how it looks, can improve body image over time. 

Body image pressure affects everyone

There is a lot of pressure in today's society to have a certain body type, and for many people, that ideal is being thin. Social media, advertising, celebrities, and even comments from friends or family can send the message that thinner bodies are more attractive, successful, or healthy. We’ve all likely had a moment or two in our life when we have intentionally or accidentally compared ourselves to one of these standards. As a result, this can lead to body dissatisfaction, low self-esteem, and unhealthy dieting or exercise habits. Remember, these beauty ideals are often edited, filtered, or simply unattainable, making them difficult for most people to achieve.

“Although both men and women experience body image pressure, the expectations are often different. Women are more likely to face pressure to be thin while also having other features that often creates an ideal that can be difficult to achieve naturally. Men, on the other hand, are often expected to be lean but also muscular, with broad shoulders and a defined physique,” Dr. Sivaratnam notes. “While the specific ideals differ, both can lead to constant comparison, self-criticism, and the feeling that their bodies are not good enough.”

It is also important to recognize that different cultures can also have body type standards. Recognizing that these standards are shaped by society and are not necessarily realistic expectations of physical appearance can help support a healthier and more balanced of our bodies.

The truth about thin privilege

Thin privilege refers to the advantages that often come with living in a thinner body in a society that tends to value thinness. These advantages aren't something a person earns necessarily — they're simply the result of cultural attitudes and expectations. For example, someone with thin privilege may have an easier time finding clothes that fit; be less likely to be teased or judged because of their body size; see people who look like them represented in movies and advertising; or have healthcare providers focus on concerns other than their weight.

“It’s important to remember that having thin privilege doesn't mean someone has an easy life or hasn't faced other challenges. Many thin people are criticized for being too “skinny” or have been told they need to eat more. They have stories about being told to “have a sandwich” by total strangers,” says Dr. Sivaratnam. “We know that people in larger bodies often face bias or unfair treatment that thinner people may not experience, but understanding thin privilege can help us become more aware of how weight stigma affects all of us. It’s a reminder that treat everyone deserves respect, regardless of their body size.”

Supporting someone you love 

Supporting a child or young person who feels self-conscious about their body starts with helping them feel accepted and understood. If they share that they're uncomfortable with how they look in the summer, encourage them to talk about their feelings and really listen. You can say something like, "It sounds like you're feeling uncomfortable. Do you want to tell me more about that?" can help them feel heard. It's also a good opportunity to remind them that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and that their worth isn't based on how they look or a number on the scale. Try modelling a positive attitude toward your own body and avoid negative comments about weight or appearance. since children often pick up on those messages.

Most importantly, remind them that they're valued for so much more than their appearance. Notice and praise qualities like their kindness, creativity, perseverance, and sense of humor so they know those things matter, too. If they experience teasing or hurtful comments, take their feelings seriously, let them know the teasing isn't okay, and help them think through ways to respond while stepping in when needed. A supportive, accepting home environment or friendship can go a long way in helping a child or young person feel more confident and comfortable in their own skin

Practices to support a positive body image

There are many ways you can help support a positive body image, especially by creating an environment where people feel valued for more than just their appearance. You can encourage healthy habits without connecting them to changing one’s appearance. Activities like eating a variety of foods, getting enough rest, and enjoying movement should be about feeling good, having energy, and caring for ourselves — not about trying to look a certain way.

“One important practice is to focus on what bodies can do rather than only how they look. For example, you can appreciate that our bodies help us move, play, learn, create, and experience life. It also helps to use positive and respectful language about bodies in general,” Dr. Sivaratnam advises. “Try to avoid making negative comments about your own body or judging other people’s bodies, especially since children and others around us often learn from the way we talk. Instead, try to model acceptance by recognizing different body shapes and sizes as normal and worthy of respect.”

It’s also important to challenge unrealistic messages from media and social platforms by talking about how photos, filters, and advertising can create unrealistic expectations. Encouraging yourself and others to focus on their strengths, interests, personality, and accomplishments can help build confidence that goes beyond appearance.

“By implementing some simple and thoughtful practices we can create spaces where people feel safe sharing their feelings about their bodies can make a big difference,” Dr. Sivaratnam affirms. “By listening without judgment, offering support, and reminding the people in our lives that they are valued for who they are not what they look like can help all of us develop a healthier and more positive relationship with our bodies.”

Learn more and find a physician or advanced practice clinician (APC)

If you or someone you love needs mental health support, our caring experts at Providence Swedish Behavioral Health can help. Visit our website to find care near you. 

Do you have questions or concerns about your child’s wellness? Swedish Pediatrics is here to help. Call today to schedule a visit. 

If you require an in-person visit or want to consult a doctor virtually for your health concern, Providence Swedish is here for you. Contact Swedish Primary Care to schedule an appointment with a primary care physician. You can also connect virtually with your doctor to review your symptoms, provide instruction and follow up as needed. And with Swedish ExpressCare Virtual, you can receive treatment in minutes for common conditions such as colds, flu, urinary tract infections and more. You can use our provider directory to find a specialist or primary care physician near you.

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This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical care. Always follow your healthcare professional's instructions. 

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