Guidance to help your family cope in the wake of a national tragedy

[4 MIN READ]

In this article:

• The frequency of catastrophic or violent events, such as school shootings, can take a toll on your family’s mental health.
• A Providence Swedish behavioral health expert advises that it’s important to acknowledge feelings about such events by talking about them — especially with your kids.
• Taking care of yourself and your family can also include relaxation exercises and limiting social media.

The statistics around school shootings are sobering, to say the very least. CNN recently reported that as of the first week in September, there have been at least 46 school shootings in the United States so far this year. Thirteen were on college campuses, and 33 were on K-12 school grounds. The incidents left 24 people dead and at least 62 other victims injured, according to CNN’s analysis of events reported by the Gun Violence Archive, Education Week and Everytown for Gun Safety.

Most recently, a shooting at Apalachee High School in Georgia left two students and two teachers dead, and nine others hospitalized or wounded. CBS News reported that the shooting marked 218 times that a gun has been brandished or discharged in a school in 2024. 

The swirl of emotion and opinions after these events can sometimes make talking about them difficult. One thing we know for sure is that communication, support and connection can help lessen the emotional burden of these tragedies. For some advice on ways to help ourselves and others, we spoke with Jenni O’Donnell, Psy.D, senior medical director for behavioral health integration on how to manage our stress and reactions and move forward in the face of catastrophies and tragic events like school shootings. 

“If you feel safe, talking with someone who can provide you with the support you need is important. However, trying to set clear boundaries around your consumption of the news is also key, so honoring your own emotions and capacity to engage in conversations with others,” says Dr. O’Donnell. “If you don’t feel you have the capacity, it is ok to let people know that it’s a really important topic, but you don’t know that I have the bandwidth emotionally to really talk about it right now.”

Dr. O’Donnell shared a few additional tips that can help us all move through the emotion of mass tragedy: 

• Talk about it. Remember that it’s OK not to be OK and to speak that aloud to people in your support network, even if that’s just one conversation or seeing a therapist for a brainstorming session to help identify your specific needs. Don’t wait until you are in crisis to ask for help. Communication can help avert a crisis.
• Name your feelings. Mass shootings and school shootings are tragic for the local community and for those of us witnessing them unfold through the news and on social media. Give your feelings a name and acknowledge them. Whether it is anger, grief, fear or any other emotion, name them and sit with them rather than trying to avoid them. And as part of that, make sure you do something intentional to care for yourself.
• Engage in activities of self-care. Make sure you are honoring yourself by taking care of you.  Eat nutritious meals. Get proper rest. Make sure you engage in physical activity — whether that’s formal exercise or any other kind of healthy movement. Spend time in a place you love or with people you love who help you feel affirmed. Try to avoid alcohol or drugs. And if you are still struggling with anxiety, try some relaxation exercises like deep breathing or meditation. Gentle yoga can also be very helpful. 
• Log off. Avoid doomscrolling. Social media and news sites can be overwhelming. If you need to, create structure around how you engage with them; identifying clear times to read and or watch news and social media can be a small way to balance staying informed but not consumed. If you must be online, remember that task switching — jumping consciously or unconsciously from one task or platform to another — especially when it involves emotionally charged topics, can be extremely draining. Allow yourself dedicated time to do that activity or digest the content. Acknowledging your emotions is an active step you can take to help mitigate feeling overwhelmed by what’s on the Internet after an event of mass tragedy.
• Talk to the kids and young people in your life. If you have littles or young people in your life, don’t be afraid to speak with them about these events. Let them guide the conversation with their questions and respond using age-appropriate explanations. Be clear and make sure kids understand why something happened, to help them avoid feelings of responsibility for events beyond their control. Remember that it’s OK to acknowledge that adults don’t always understand events or why they happen either. 

“If you are a parent or guardian, you may also be experiencing a significant amount of stress related to sending your kids to school,” Dr. O’Donnell advises. “One key strategy is to focus on those things that are within your control. You can also reach out to your school to learn more about what they are doing to prioritize safety.”

“When these shootings keep happening and there are no measurable actions taken to prevent future events, many individuals will feel a sense of helplessness, but as I mentioned, talking with someone you feel safe with is one of the best ways to process your feelings or help someone else process theirs.”  

Learn more and find a physician or advanced care practitioner (ACP)

If you have questions about behavioral health services, Swedish is here for you. Contact Swedish Behavioral Health and Well-Being. We can accommodate both in-person and virtual visits.

Whether you require an in-person visit or want to consult a doctor virtually, you have options. You can also connect virtually with your provider to review your symptoms, provide instruction and follow up as needed. And with Swedish ExpressCare Virtual you can receive treatment in minutes for common conditions such as colds, flu, urinary tract infections, and more. You can use our provider directory to find a specialist or primary care physician near you.

Information for patients and visitors

Additional resources

We are committed to supporting your mental health and well-being

Access to mental health-care is a key to helping every community flourish

Routine mental health talks with kids help make home a stigma-free zone

At Swedish Ballard, care and support for adults with acute psychiatric needs

This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical care. Always follow your health care professional’s instructions.

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